I'm trying to console myself everyday....Death is an HAPPY EVENT, through this the Atma (Spirit) go nearer to its ultimate release from the turmoil of recurring re-births. Thats why ma is happier now and she is lucky to have this early.


But, again earthy sentiments come to my mind... she was so fond of us, fond of her house and her belongings...has she become able to leave all of them easily? God! make her mind free of all these affections, this will never help her. Only allow her to come to our dreams often...I need this desperately to lead a normal life. 


I can hide every emotions but this habit makes me devastated inside. Sometimes pain become unbearable and i feel like meeting her desperately ..anywhere, anyhow! beyond death she is there for me.. for baba! Baba has ended up to be just a living being, devoid of any happiness, enjoys and appreciates nothing, no positive feelings left. No change at all in this 8 months since she left! Whereas he used to be the most positive and energetic man I've ever come across. God, do something really good, really positive for him, so that life can show him a positive approach.

I hate arranged marriages, not exactly..rather,to be precise, I hate the arrangements that our society makes for the would be brides!! I hate the way how the girls have to give a sitting for the groom's family. Can a boy imagine that in his own house some outsider come and ask him to show the way he walks, or how good his hair is or how his hand-writing is!!!!! My God, its terrible...be it a smart, independant,educated girl or a village belle...every girl who is going for an arranged marriage has to face these kind of dirty interviews. I'm watching my sis and my friends are going through this! And after such delicious Meeting and Eating the groom's family leaves and if they didn't like the girl..they don't even pick up the phone or return back the pic of the girl.What nonsense is this!! Don't you think this primitive, ancient practice should be stopped immediately??

And these so called lucrative good boys/would be grooms pretend to be modern, they also have lots of friends and colleagues who are girls...can't they understand how embarrassing and insulting things are happening to these girls, and their God damn families are responsible for these nonsense!!! These nasty things need to to stopped immediately. Boys! plz respect girls and their feelings! You only can make some changes! call bride's family at your residence first, meet them, answer them...be a good host.Then take your time and after that if you don't like the girl.. send her pic back and ask your parents to answer their call with utmost decency. 

Maa..lost and FOUND

Back to the PRESENT, after a huge turmoil. Lost my ma suddenly. On 3rd Nov when we started for North Bengal...it was no where in our wildest dream that maa is going to leave us on 17th Nov. She was ill, very ill since march'2010, but not so ill that it would made us to cancel our tour. We reached Lepchajagat on 4th and on 5th, which was my birthday ma got hospitalised and by evening,the condition became so serious that we started for Kolkata on the next morning. And then....struggle continued till 17th. Her lungs had been completely dried out due to a fatal disease called Lung Fibrosis or IPF.
Now, after 3months, I got a present from God,i.e, I'm having my maa in my every dreams since 16th Feb. And those dreams are so real-like, such as I remain completely aware in my dreams, that maa is dead, but two of us are shopping or wondering around and discussing about her absense in my baba's life. And we try to figure out a solution. It feels GREAT. Thanks maa and thank God. And today morning...my  transition from dream to awakening was so wonderful that it left me spellbound. Today maa and I were discussing about baba, who is in Kharagpur now, and maa was telling me that he must be very careful while returning from Kharagpur........and just then, Baba called me and i woke up!!!!

Thanks ma...come to baba's dreams also.